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the common ideal of

Character

In the summer of 1883, 19th-century educational leader and Parker namesake Colonel Francis W. Parker gave a series of talks at a Summer Institute on Teaching. His final talk began as follows:

No matter how much educators may differ in regard to the means and methods of teaching, upon one point there is a substantial agreement; viz. that the end and aim of all education is the development of character. There is also, little or no difference of opinion, in regard to the elements that form the common ideal of character. Love of truth, justice, and mercy; benevolence, humility, energy, patience, and self-control, are recognized the world over, as some of the essentials that should govern human action

In a time when public norms are devolving, we are asking the Parker community to be counter-cultural.

Our hope is that students, faculty, staff, and parents are able to address these questions:

  • Do we have room for differences in opinion?
  • Do we know how to both respect the experiences of others and feel free to speak our opinions?

Fostering Civil Dialogue

Even though fostering the common ideal of character permeates all that we do at Parker, we believe it is necessary to carve out time dedicated to providing thoughtful dialogue on how to best live that ideal. It is our responsibility to the School, our mission, and, most especially, our students to ensure we invest deeply in this work. We must, as educators, help students learn to navigate differences in healthy ways. Teaching students the skills of dialogue and providing them opportunities to practice these skills in the classroom will give them tools and skills to navigate ideological differences and become effective leaders in our pluralistic democracy. At this moment in our history, a time when our public norms seem to be devolving, we are challenging ourselves to model the ideals of Colonel Parker.

Thriving in a World of Pluralistic Contention

Academic excellence is defined by intellectual inquiry and exploration, preparing students with the necessary skills, aptitude, and abilities to participate fully in the fundamental human conversation on what is right, fair, and good. 

The E.E. Ford Foundation recently funded the school report Thriving in A World of Pluralistic Contention: A Framework for Schools, in which skills, instructional practices, guidelines, and strategies are presented that aim to deepen student curiosity, increase their appreciation of the world’s complexities that will assist them in more effectively managing the inherent tensions that increasingly sit at the center of our schools, our communities, our nations, and our world.

Read the E.E. Ford Foundation Report

Every member of the Parker community is responsible for engaging and interacting with one another through civil dialogue that strengthens and upholds ideal student, parent, family, faculty, and staff partnerships.

Creating environments and supporting mindsets that encourage students, employees, and families to talk across differences begins with a foundation of partnership. Parker sets standards for engagement for the community that are an extension of our values and an umbrella to our shared norms for Civil Dialogue.

View our Guidelines for Cultivating Healthy Partnerships

Our Shared Norms

Speak from the "I" Perspective

Make comments using “I” statements. For example: “I disagree with what you said.” or “Here’s what I think.” Speak for your own experiences and avoid making generalizations or using stereotypes.

Respect One's Truth for What It Is

Avoid making any assumptions about someone’s beliefs based on their identity. Above all, commit to respecting each other’s identities and honoring each other’s lived experiences.

Be Aware of Intent vs. Impact

Acknowledge the intent, but address the impact. If the impact does harm to a person or community, even if that was not the intention, focus on restoring the community. You can ask: Was someone hurt by something? Was there a negative outcome?

Be an Upstander

Upstanders speak up and do something to prevent or reduce the harm. Be mindful that not participating is “participating.” 

Educate Yourself and Communicate With an Open Mind

Research the topics under discussion and enter into dialogue with a learner’s mindset. Know you can always pass during a discussion; if you do not feel safe sharing your perspective or asking a question, write it down and ask the teacher to help you find a safe way to share.

Get Comfortable With Discomfort

Because the concepts we are discussing today are complex and deeply personal, they often bring feelings of discomfort. However, we cannot avoid these conversations just because they make us uncomfortable. Recognize your boundaries and listen to them.

Expect and Accept Non-Closure

We are going to be in different places when it comes to socio-political topics, and that is ok. Part of this journey is to know that each human interaction is an opportunity to build a bridge and seek understanding. All of this takes time, but with the continued practice of dialogue and understanding, we can build a stronger community.

Be Collaborative

Approach the conversation with the goal of learning and understanding, not persuading or convincing. Share talking time. Provide space for others to speak and be mindful of your participation patterns by using the acronym “W.A.I.T”—Why Am I Talking? or Why Aren’t I Talking?

Practice Active Listening and Ask Questions

Show respect for one another’s beliefs, values, and experiences. Try to understand what someone is saying before rushing to judgment. If you don’t understand something, ask a question.

Show Respect for People

Be respectful even where you disagree with their ideas and views presented. Do not interrupt others while they are speaking. Avoid personal attacks or other tactics that distract attention from the salient issues. Put-downs are never okay. If someone says something that hurts or offends you, do not attack the person.

Challenge Ideas, Not People

Dialogue and the exchange of a diversity of ideas is encouraged. Differences in opinions and perspectives coupled with respect for those differences are tenets of a healthy partnership. Blaming or shaming others for those differences is not okay nor part of healthy dialogue.

Be Mindful of Your Impact

Even in the face of frustration or disagreement, always choose to engage and communicate with honesty, kindness, sincerity, respect, and grace. We are responsible for the impact of the words we speak, write, and share; handle this responsibility with dignity and care.

Assume Positive Intent

Trust that everyone is doing the best they can as we attempt to reach a place of deeper understanding and common ground. Root our dialogue, inquiries, questions, and exchanges in trust and respect for self, others, and the community.

Trust The Process

Pay attention to how things are unfolding in real time, and understand that time is often needed to understand the matter in its entirety. Exercise patience and discretion throughout the process and be open to the possibility of gaining insights about ourselves, others, and our community.

Remember We Are In Partnership

Being in a healthy partnership means we work along a continuum of growth and are willing to allow one another the time, grace, and opportunity to understand, learn, and grow. Be more curious than certain, be more generous than adverse.

Resources For Home

Educators: is there a resource you'd like us to add? Contact us at communications@francisparker.org.

“Who possesses the youth, possesses the future,” sounds in our ears. Who should possess the youth? … No party, no creed, should possess the future. The truth, and the truth alone, should possess the youth.Colonel Francis W. Parker